Wanted: UK WordPress developer, UK Front-end developer

I'm looking to bring a Wordpress developer and a Front-end developer for the team. We have a constant stream of Wordpress development and are looking to work with someone based in the UK. He or she must have:

• A sense of humour, and a love for Wordpress
• A love for a good sausage roll (the food - someone explained to me the other day it's a very bizarre sexual position, but let's not get into that now)
• Inside and out knowledge of the Wordpress template system
• A knowledge of too many plug-ins to count
• Ability to search or even build a plug-in to suit a specific need
• Ability to solve problems rather than create them
• Set pricing on a job-by-job basis, or a monthly fee to keep you on full-time
• Ability to manage and meet several deadlines. Perfect knowledge of English (I'm looking for UK based people here) and someone who can communicate with clients via IM or e-mail very well.

For the front-end developer position I'm looking for:

• A sense of humour, and a love for CSS/XHTML
• Ability to create XHTML Strict code in any situation, without falling back to Transitional
• Ability to produce hack-less CSS compatible with IE6, FireFox 1-2, Safari and Opera
• Ability to go further back in the browser time-machine if neccesary
• Ability to re-write existing terrible 'want to slap the person who did it, table based' code into 'nice and pretty' mark-up
• Ability to manage and meet several deadlines. Perfect knowledge of English (I'm looking for UK based people here) and someone who can communicate with clients via IM or e-mail very well.

If I fail to receive a application by Monday-Wednesday (depending on when I have time), I will post it around several job boards instead. Applicants should format their e-mails to me as such:

• Hi, I'm -x- from -x- and I love Sausage Rolls.
• Here is why you should hire me: -bullet pointed list-
• Here is my rough set per-job pricing and/or my monthly/weekly hiring fee should you want to choose between the two
• Here's what I can bring to Rolled which no-one else can
• I love you man! -x- (Ok this one is optional)

Looking forward to seeing what I get in my inbox Monday morning.